Tongue's Pie Hamlet

Tongue's Pie Hamlet is a quaint, pint-sized farming community of halflings. The hamlet is located in an open field of tall grass, that seems hidden from normal view until you are right next to it, and is just a few city blocks in length. Little houses make of thatched sticks, crude mud bricks, and sod are located in the center of the field, and all manner of small farm animals, including chickens, and dog-sized cattle roam underfoot as you walk towards the homes. Apple trees line the eastern edge of the field, and melons, peas, gords, and potatoes grow in between the houses. The residents of the hamlet are short (even by halfling standards) and unusually lean and sad looking for halflings, and will scurry to hide in tunnels, haybails and the like, at the sight of any outsiders. The town does not share is business too quickly with outsiders, but if pressed, will explain that a local band of Bugbears, coming up from Thuul Swamp, plague them by coming once every month or two to collect any meat, alcohol, or dairy crops produced by the halflings, under threat of violence.

Barmigan Chesterfield is the current mayor of the hamlet and is a retired adventurer himself. "Well you see, we don't like to trouble those nice Longshires over every little thing. We used to eat cattle all the time, by heaven's blessings, our village is named after a famous delicacy we invented, made with cows tongue, brown gravy, mushrooms, and chicken stock, boiled down into a wonderful reduction then baked into a butter-crust pie. Delicious! Problem is, we get them bugbears coming up out of the Thuul Swamps a couple times a year, demanding tribute from us. I mean, I get it. They're bugbears, never much for farmin' themselves, they'd rather steal it from someone weaker. Well anyway, we used to try to fight them, but they beat the stuffin' out of us. Lost a great-great-uncle of mine that way. Then we tried to ask the Longshires for help, and while the Longshires were here, the bugbears wouldn't barge in, but the minute they'd leave, the bugbears would be right back. Finally, we came to an agreement with the Bugbears, in exchange for a wagon load of dried smoked meat and wine, they would leave us and our other crops be. once every month or so they show up, and we give 'em all the stuff we've saved up, and, well if they are in a good mood they just load up our food and head back to the swamp, and if they're in a bad mood, well someone is liable to get their teeth knocked out and a few houses get knocked down. If we're extra unlucky they'll insist on staying with us for the night, where they get all kinds of drunk and break everything (shakes his head sadly). Well ya know, I had a cousin who lived up north next to some gnolls, and those beasts up there would do the same thing, but if they didn't like the crop the halfings turned over, well those gnolls would just skewer a halfling right there on the spot and roast him over a spit, just to let the little ones who know was in charge. It can always be worse ya know!"

The halflings of the hamlet try to maintain a zen-like acceptance of their current situation with the Bugbears, and on occassion are known to be as merry as other normal halflings, especially around the holidays. In Tongue's Pie Hamlet, there is no bigger holiday than "Wynr Laurtik Karltelraub" which roughly translates as "Happy to be Not-Eaten Day".

The cooking on this holiday is renowned for its vegetarian flare and includes items such as:
 * Roasted squash w/ acorn flour biscuits
 * Turnip & leek pie
 * Barley stew w/ potatoes and beets
 * Watercress salad
 * Honeyed Apple Vinegar
 * Sweet salted watermelon
 * Baked Onions with basil glase
 * Carrot and Leek Pie
 * Roasted Eggplant in olive oil dressing
 * Chickpea puree with fennel and sesame seeds, and flatbread for dipping
 * Sun-dried plums for dessert

Games at the holiday include:
 * Halfling Dance of Joy - a folksy square dance of sorts.
 * "The Swapping o' the Wives" - (based on a fair lottery system).
 * Fish Skipping Contest - wherein trout are skimmed across a river or pond.
 * Knife Throwing - Barkley the Village Idiot wears a thick iron helmet and breastplate and serves as a running target.